DISCLOSURE

Loving you enough for your affection not to mean a thing. Making use of these moments till You’re completely gone from me; Going through the motions. Living with this notion That it’s either now or never. Staring and holding gazes And etching deep into memory To have an emotion to feed on when I lay depraved of your presence. Lost in your touch and Confused by your comforting ambiance. Addicted to the sound of your voice Tingling feeling of your hair in my hands Stomach turning at the scent of your tongue Heart running at the taste of your breathe Falling deep into this Getting ready to lose all of it. Midnight chills. Chipped nails and coffee mugs. Reminiscing the hand holding And intertwined legs 212 lingering in memory. Hoodies and sweatpants Watching movies in mute My head full of you. All of you. Unreplied messages and missed calls Ignored thoughts finding release Reaching for emotions I can no longer feel. So my mind-block sorta lifted. And lately I’ve been think...

Deep. Intense. That’s how his kiss felt. Comfortable tension In how my name he’d mention. It wasn’t the first time His lips had met mine; But it was the way he made me feel like it would be the last. Oblivious of his real intentions But strangely aware of his expectations. We didn’t just stumble upon this moment Even though it had been ten years. This was still a result of a guided calculation. A well planned schedule. A coincidence of wants and desires; and lust. Perfection. Articulation. This wasn’t a hungry chap at a food festival Or a child at a friend’s party. This was a man who knew how to feed And still leave you in want. This was a man who thought only of himself And still managed to make you care too. He was a slave master you thought rewarded you He was a king you would dream to please He was a small god; or a small devil. Letting you be happy to do his will. He was beautiful, especially in his speech. Manipulating, where you would do his bid A leader, how he would let hims...

Some are billionaires at 20 I can't even remember what I was doing at 20 Alot of "me's" claim to be hustling On that grind you know that paper they're chasing But sometimes people don't realize the more you chase something the further it runs from you. I don't chase what's not mine I don't chase anything at all anything but drinks and even that is once in a blue moon haha But I'm grown now I'm not about that life. Is what I keep reminding my hangover Every other morning. I'll get it right I know I will One step at a time I know there'll be footprints like I was here and here.... So it's been eons since I wrote anything, frankly I've been pretty blank all this time. Not like there's something worthwhile to write about now haha It's just been veeeery long months. Such drastic things happened, you know, like Obama came and all..... the world has been busy with stuff and me we...

One two three number of weeks I've been waiting for the expected y'know, after I took the pills. It wasn't my fault technically it broke in the process; blame physics I guess. But I was drunk too or high or both, to remember what happened. I just take precautions lol Irony of that now considering the ultimate is abstinence. haha that word has always been too long maybe that's why I don't remember it. Oh well, back to the bathroom where I left it. Eight nine ten minutes I've been counting with wild thoughts in my head. Damn, it's positive. I checked. This is my third test by the way. My life flashes before my eyes literally the events of that night the few memories I can savage because it was full of emptiness. What do I do? Should I tell him? Will he even do anything about it? Does he even still have my number or did he lose it with his phone for the hundredth time this month. Four...

She's so beautiful seated against the window  Her small black eyes, you should see how they roll back how they roll back when she's smiling, when she's talking when she's letting you into her mind She's so beautiful. She's intelligent, books against her petite chest Her pretty fingers as she pushes back her brown hair her brown hair when she's walking, sound of her echo her mind takes me out of this world She's so beautiful. I miss how we used to hold hands how we called each other best friend I miss our upside down kiss  the dimple above your cheek I  miss I miss I miss. This was a song I wrote to my then best friend of some couple of years ago. Background to this story,,, well let's assume this is the part where I flashback to like when I was a kid. Okay so, some day when I was in form three or for those lucky ones lol grade sijui its eleven or twelve. So, it was the day I was going back to school, boardin...

So, no poem today lol Exam's have been all up in my ass I've not had a chance to be inspirational. Also, I did not have something worth writing about. But today. I do. As usual, I'm complaining about something coz I'm just that kind of person (no apologies hihi)   My mother, who happens to be a psychologist and LOOOVES analyzing me, once gave me some piece of advice I would like to share. I remember I was busy complaining about something that happened in my high school and as usual, she listened to everything, nodded but instead of sharing in my pain or helping me to bad mouth the school director (who I still dislike up to today) like what my small mind expected, she turned off the TV and started the most heartfelt lecture I ever had in my life. Which has surprisingly been something I follow through with to this day. She told me "Mwende, there are three kinds of problems in life. There are problems that YOU have to deal with yourself and shouldn't let anybody...

And then I smiled. Because he’d cracked a joke Or maybe because he was around me And I knew I’d give almost anything To keep him there. Maybe I smiled Because I didn’t have to. And he enjoyed my company too He said it every time we were together. He said I was interesting. I believed him; because it’s true. And I smiled too because I knew he meant it from his heart. “I got you”. He whispered. I looked up and our eyes met. I felt safe because he was strong enough And I smiled again because He knew I was falling. It was prohibited. He was taken. And I wasn’t spoken for. But forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. And although curiosity killed the cat The cat had nine lives. I am not afraid to cry in his arms Because he’ll kiss away the tears And his tenderness will make them dry. He said “forever”. I smiled. Because forever doesn...