Grown Woman

And then I smiled.

Because he’d cracked a joke

Or maybe because he was around me

And I knew I’d give almost anything

To keep him there.

Maybe I smiled

Because I didn’t have to.

And he enjoyed my company too

He said it every time we were together.

He said I was interesting.

I believed him; because it’s true.

And I smiled too because

I knew he meant it from his heart.

“I got you”. He whispered.

I looked up and our eyes met.

I felt safe because he was strong enough

And I smiled again because

He knew I was falling.

It was prohibited. He was taken.

And I wasn’t spoken for.

But forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest.

And although curiosity killed the cat

The cat had nine lives.

I am not afraid to cry in his arms

Because he’ll kiss away the tears

And his tenderness will make them dry.

He said “forever”. I smiled.

Because forever doesn’t exist

And maybe because

It meant he was going to break my heart

With a promise he couldn’t keep.

Yet I smiled, because I knew.

Ever watched in the movies how a bad guy hooks up with a good naïve girl and he falls for her and then after they have fun and he starts getting attached to her he tells her that he’s bad for her and pushes her away. Saying he is protecting her from him. This probably makes sense because he IS in fact a heart breaker. Yet, I find it very selfish. Because, he doesn’t know that the girl is strong enough to take it and she too has some serious baggage. And he is the one that is scared of being attached to that good girl that for some reason takes all his crap and sticks with him anyway.

Funny how most people assume that girls/ladies/women are weak at heart. Yes we’re emotional, yes we’re melodramatic at times, and yes, sometimes we go to extreme measures to get over something. But bottom line is, we get through it. Ladies are stronger than most people think. We go through so much even just by the simple fact of being a lady. You think its easy waking up every morning looking like a goddess? We go through so much. We have to be strong for ourselves AND our friends. We need to learn how to say no when we mean it, and no when we don’t mean it coz at the end of the day, we suffer the most. But we get by alright. We wake up, look good even when we don’t try, we do what we gotta do coz the future depends on us. We’ll be mothers at some point, carrying some 3kg load around for months and make sure it gets out okay for us to be full-time parents for the next 20 years of them growing up. Sometimes it’s scary thinking I’ll ever be responsible for someone else’s life, health, education and general well-being when I know how much I struggle to remind myself to brush my teeth every night. I guess when the time is right, I’ll be ready. And even when it comes as a surprise, coz I know that’s still within the realm of possibilities, I’ll have to get my act together and get ready. Ever noticed how there are more single mums than single dads? Ever wondered why it’s the woman that gives forth life and not the man? I think God knew, considering he’d made him Himself, God knew man couldn’t handle it. He’d just commit suicide or go crazy or something but basically, we got that job. I think all your life as a woman you’re psychologically and emotionally trained to just take eveeeeerything and still be able to stand tall coz if we fall there’s no one to catch us mahn we ARE the ground.

I know I went all feminist and women rights activist up there but what I’m tryna say is, WE CAN TAKE IT. Unless a girl tells you herself “I can’t deal with this” chances are guys, she can. And she probably will. Just because you think if you were in such a position you couldn’t handle it doesn’t mean she can’t coz she’s a girl, coz she’s emotional. Coz she’ll just catch feelings. At least we don’t have to pretend we don’t. Quit underestimating us. So next time you give someone that speech about how you’re badass and you’ll break her heart and you’re so bad for them and they deserve someone better. Remember that she has a brain too. And trust me, she knows your “badass” and that’s probably why she’s still around. To prove to you that she can take care of herself coz she’s a woman. And when she won’t be able to take it she’ll let you know coz she can stand up for herself. And also, next time you watch a movie where the guy is pushing the girl away, remember, he’s just a coward. So turn it off and watch a movie with a real man in it.