Expired

Just like the date

on the milk carton I don't even drink

I think I can see

the expiry date on this friendship.

And it's even passed.

Don't see eye to eye no more

Don't even see you at all and 

I ain't even complaining.

I used to cry when you left

text you something sweet and encouraging

whenever you'd cross my mind.

Now you're like at the bottom

of my whatsapp messages.

And I only noticed that

coz I was sending you an invite

to a party I was attending

coz a part of me still cares

still remembers

still struggles to keep us together.

I been stretching out the second chances

or should I say infinite chances

coz I can't even count

the number of times we've collided.

And we keep coming back 

to this toxicity and foolishness

just to get close enough to

break and crush each other again.

Once bitten twice shy.

It's been too many times

my heart and body is exhausted.

We was fresh for a long while but the glue is over

 baby girl we're now expired.

Ever had those moments when you feel like you're just DONE kabisa, kaput, finished, finito, END, you just can't anymore? When you think of someone you love who's just hurt you to the core yaani you can't even believe it? Then you think of all the good times you guys had, the laughter, the stupid moments. The silly things y'all did that only you two know about coz the world would judge very harshly. And it kinda makes you wonder if they really treasured that friendship as much as you did.

Yeah, we can't be perfect but do we try? I tend to think friendship is basically about mutual respect. There are no boundaries but then again, there are. Bro/girl codes and all. Hoes over bros- which btw pisses me off its whores not hoes I mean a hoe is a gardening tool- but you get the whole idea. But selfishness gets in the way and we forget aaaall about loyalty and again, forget to respect that friendship. IF we stopped ourselves before doing something and thought "Would this in any way affect our relationship negatively? Should I run this by him/her just to make sure?" the world would definitely be a better place. But coz we're human like that we don't care about the other person's feelings, or we realize we do after we've already messed up and we can't do without that person.

I like how I'm talking like some great saint but I have been that person too. Yes I'm small and cute and all that crap but devil knows I can give him a run for his reputation lol I have done some pretty mean things, said some pretty harsh things too (( but then again, I'm not a nice person so I really don't see the difference)), I have started rumors, spread them, I've hated on people, people I called friends, it's a bad life I once lived I don't even know how they forgave me. Maybe they haven't haha but I changed. I did after I got a big taste of my own medicine wow backstabbing all the way to the front mahn, I call it a lesson learnt :)

We grow out of people, friendships, we grow up in short. We lose some, we gain some. Others are like always on transition, they're there but then they aren't. But there always remains those people you really can't get rid of. And you try but you guys just keep coming back. I personally can't hold a grudge but I try so hard hoping maybe I'll finally prove that I'm done for real. But we keep going back I guess coz it's always easier to make it work with that one person that knows you inside out than to try it with somebody knew. They say better the devil you know than the angel you don't right? It's somehow true partly because we're too lazy to start friendships with strangers and partly because we're scared of letting people in. Coz letting people into your world, IS a big deal. Friends are usually closer than your brother, term brother being used very loosely here, but they're like you're other half. The other side of you.

I just think we should work on our friendships a lot more harder than we do. We take our friends for granted most of the time coz we know they'll be down anyway. Ride or die, day one nigga, your fam,,, but are you theirs too? We focus so much on how they've wronged us and how they're not acting like the way they're supposed to.

But in as much as we should work on our friends, we also need to know when it's time to let go. When it's time to just break it off and move on. Knowing that not everything works, is the most valuable lesson I learned on my own. Not everything is gonna be forever, I don't even think there's a forever. It's not always gonna be sunshine and roses, the thorns are there too. And sometimes,,, you're probably growing on the wrong side of the garden. You just need to figure out where it's at, be true to yourself, know when to stick around and when you cut loose. You have only one life to live.