LOVE YOURSELF.

It's 2017! Yeeiiyy we're getting old!
Anyway, this new year I've decided I will dedicate it to women 🏽 and our depreciating self-esteem that's making us tolerate stupid men. It's us btw it's not the men lemme just take the blame on behalf of all of us ladies sisi ndo tumewazoesha vibaya. And I promise we're going to change
Okay so last year, for one of my exam finals I wrote a term paper about Domestic Abuse or as I like to call it Intimate Terrorism. I was basically writing about one of the many reasons why I believe men are getting too damn comfortable with abusing women Well I won't discuss those details here but I still wanna talk about it that shit pisses me off to a whole other level yaani tsk
And I know there's this whole minding your own business thing which I approve. But sisters I mean... If your girl is getting hit, ata once maybe is fine coz you can pull an "If he tries that shit again I'm not holding back" you know? But on the regular? Dame anakula kichapo like she on a slap-diet SMH it's not right to watch your girlfriend endure that shit btw I don't care if they've been together since conception. You hit my girlfriend I hit you and if you have a car I'm having a field day that house I'm breaking shit there's no getting away with it. I think all women need that kind of moral support in their life coz then even the guy knows this woman has got a team ready to ambush me if I don't give her the respect she deserves. I'm that kind of friend that will bail you out but most probably, would be in there with you already

 

I know a story of some mami. She moved in with this lazy piece of bum who's a DJ or upcoming musician you know just hustles but the kinda nigga who'd make 50 a night and blow it all on a henny and Ciroc You know the never-mind niggas, always-ambitioning niggas, for-the-gram niggas, never-made it niggas yaani kihii in short
So anyway, they moved in and this mami was having a stable job not earning ati a milli but enough. If she was living alone it'd be enough for rent her daily expenses even a night out every weekend. So she'd wake up in the morning, get ready for work, buy and prepare breakfast leave this bum asleep; come back jioni, find this nigga hasn't even taken the plate he had his eggs on from the couch alongside ashes from his joint and their dog poop hapo kando clean everything up while this nigga's passed out; go out look for dinner come back cook it clean those dishes, suck his dick and this nigga who said he didn't have pesa in the morning claims he wants to go and have a few beers. 🏽 Then he'd STILL disrespect her and slap her when she wasn't acting like she was supposed to. 🏽 Personally, she was doing too much already. My mother would even find me in that house and beat me up for cleaning up after a grown man like that mtu hawezi ata pile up dishes it's the least you could do aarrghhh nkkktt
Idk the current situation now coz it's one of those things where I know what's going on through a long chain of "But act like you don't know" codes close friends have so I can't intervene. But it got me thinking  

Everyone knows the kind of shit they can take from another person you know. Then there's the deal breakers. There's probably someone somewhere thinking "But that's normal it happens"... And it's okay I guess coz I can't judge Okay I'm judging kidogo wasichana tebu stop nkkktt The reason I get so mad when these things go on is because other girls like me who canNOT for the life of me stomach that end up looking like we have insanely high standards or "you don't know what love can make you do" I'm not saying we should all have the same standards kama unapenda kuchapwa by all means go on with that hardcore life. But if you don't like it why TF you staying? I mean we stay for all insane number of reasons that don't make sense to even our friends. Everyone has a deal breaker and it could be anything. In fact me and my best friend were trying to console ourselves saying we are entitled to our deal breakers.

They could be VAIN to the core but I honestly think it's better to just own your shit. There's compromises to be made yes and they should be made but only if it's something you can live with. If you know you can't live with small D don't do it. It seems vain but lemme tell you, it'll always feel like a huge sacrifice to you and every time you'll need to compromise on sth else it'll feel like you're giving too much which you probably aren't it's just coz you've been pretending the whole time. If you find this nigga a bit aggressive do you mind it? Does it put you off when he's rude to say the waiter when you're on a date? When you're not in the mood does he still insist on having sex and you just force yourself to do it coz it's your "duty", you don't want him to go to some other girl or you think you don't have a choice because you're at his house?
 

It's the small things we ignore then they build up pole pole and next thing you know he's slapping and yelling at you at a party coz he's been getting away with it. Red flags are a warning sign for a reason. Don't be clouded by sijui love sijui the D if you don't feel comfortable with sth either say it, find a way of making it better or just leave. No need to stay ati coz you don't want to look like a bitch or you've been together for so long you can't leave now it's your happiness too. In fact, your happiness above all.
 

One thing my mum always says, she should never know that I quote her atafura kichwa. But she says, anything you do in life, always remember that the first effect is on you. If you're the kind of people who do things ati to make others feel bad or to prove a point. You want to stay with this guy who fisis other chics in your face ati to prove that you can tame him remember, the first effect is on you. If, ata si if, WHEN he cheats, that pain will hit you first if he catches sth stupid that disease is getting you too. Other people may suffer yes but you're the first victim. When you start thinking of how many times things have affected you first before other people you start thinking twice about shit you allow in your life. Coz when you truly love yourself, and you're lucky enough to see that trap you don't walk into it. You might end up being a holly jo coz now you'll be paranoid about everything but I miss that hangover and an empty bank account....
Said No One Ever
Of course there are risks that are worth taking, but let it remain that, a risk. So that always at the back of your mind you know you're entering a win-lose situation and there's only two ways it could turn out. Watu waache kuogopa kufikiria btw it's free dammit!

We just wasting our lives here accepting shit we're not supposed to coz we're being nice and respectful if that person didn't bring you into this world by which I mean parents/guardians (and even then there's a limit) love your fucking self. Love yourself. I repeat. Love yourself. Wake up in the morning, love yourself. Go to sleep, love yourself. When you don't get that text or call or he stands you up on an important day don't blow up his phone and insult him, pass by your girl's house and make fun of his cum face then you'll calm down. Love yourself 🏽 If he's mean to you and you see he's not joking and he claims that's just how he is, it's okay he can be himself with another bitch but not you. Walk out of that and love yourself 🏽 You don't have to stomach everything or put up with everything, if you have a way of releasing that anger do it but don't ruin your reputation or most importantly, your make up
LOVE YOURSELF.